A strange experiment for Eurovision, its "Nul Points" result was definitely a mistake.
"Who sails my boat?", the translation of this songs title, is an appropriate Eurovision question, if there ever was one. It's certainly more interesting than previous Eurovision song titles posed, such as "What About My Dreams?" (Hungary 2011), "Why Me?" (Ireland 1992) and the dreadful "Love?" (Ireland 2005). I hope that for Remedios' sake, she wears some shoes if she's in her proverbial boat, because if it's made of wood she will get splinters within her bare feet.
Here's the result of the 12points jury: did the song sail or sink?
Song/Lyrics - 10/12
Surely the most daring of all 1983 entrants, the song stayed was the polar opposite to the Swedish entry that year ("Främling") and musically was a mix between flamenco and funk. And looking at the translated lyrics, the song is about nothing but passion - "The green of your green eyes, look at me/Look at me, so I can look at you, look at me/Look at me, so I can look at you." Meow! I wouldn't want to get in Remedios' way if she fell in love with me, especially because yours truly has a pair of green eyes.
Performance - 12/12
It takes a while for Remedios to warm up, just swaying back and forth at the start of the song. But that finger starts pointing, chastizing someone, and when she flips that hand up in a "don't fuck with me" move, what's not to love? The fact that her vocals are more in the flamenco tradition - raw and dramatic - goes against the typical perfect and clean Eurovision standard. This proved to be too scary to juries to handle but always left an impression on me.
Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 10/12
This one gets a special mention for a new category: finger-ography. The afore-mentioned finger pointing and additional finger-wagging is a very Mediterranean thing, and it looks so threating on TV! But it added something very unique to this song which I have rarely seen since.
Key Change Effectiveness - 0/12
This song didn't deem a key change necessary, unfortunately.
Camp Factor - 12/12
This song deserves 14 points out of 12 just for that outfit. What is that? Is it a sheet knotted and sewn in the right places, or as the commentator Terry Wogan says in this video's commentary, her father's bathrobe? Add to this a pair of bare feet, amazingly manicured nails and a few anguished rants, this song is much deserving of 12 points in this category.
TOTAL: 44/60. A huge hit with the audience in the concert hall where this was held, it did nothing for the voting juries. Why do you think that is? Feel free to leave your comments below - we always welcome opinion.
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