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Prime Minister - "Northern Girl"

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Look out for those preeeety guurlls! The Russian Justin Timberlakes are here to steal their hearts - and maybe yours.

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ESC 2002 ranks as one of my favourite contests of the 2000s (Copenhagen in 2001 being the absolute worst by far). The pure excitement and enthusiasm that was felt in the stadium, the really professional hosts, and the crazy voting, which kept the public in suspense until the last results, made for an excellent contest. ESC 2002 marked the first time that, aside from Yugoslavia in 1990, a "new" country was able to host. The songs that year were kind of "meh" in general but there were a few standouts. Nice to see that Russia, quite early on, stayed far away from clog-dancing brides trying to win over a man and just said, "Fuck it, let's go Western." The result was Prime Minister - not quite as catchy as "Backstreet Boys" but better than "2Girlz" or "Michael Jackson In A Duck Outfit Giving Us Some Weird Tasting Grape Juice".

The 12points jury does its analysis below. Did we wish we were a Northern Girl, so we can fall into the arms of these thick-necked boyband menbers, or just said "Actually, we're from the south. Far, far south"?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
Muscially, this ticks all the trends for this kind of boyband slush from the early 00's - acoustic guitars, lots of rhythms probably stolen from hiphop, and some light record scratching. Eleven years later, it still sounds pretty good. The lyrics are quite innocent and also fall into the pattern of songs like this - four guys singing about one girl, but no one brings up the idea that this isn't as innocent as it sounds.

Performance - 10/12
Sharp. They sound great together (aided by two backing singers doing some grapevine steps out of the way) but singing solo wasn't exactly their strong point. But they seem so earnest and really giving it their all. Compare this to the zombie-like performance of T.a.T.u the following year and you'll see what I mean. And as a plus, they are all on key. That's sad that this is even something to think about, but this is Eurovision after all.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 6/12
Hairography is a real feature here - from spiked crunchy blonde hair not moving, to some white-boy dreds which have a beautiful life of their own. The usual crotch grabbing is going on, I wonder if northern girls are into that kind of thing? Probably, because they are tough, like a pearl.

Camp Factor - 3/12
This scores a few points for the oversized white suits that Prime Minister wore, but overall this is earnest and eager to please, rather than over-the-top.

Would My Mother Like it? - 5/12
I'm not completely sure. Around this time she was really into the singer Clay Aiken, who eventually came out as gay. Before that, she was really into Ricky martin, who eventually came out as gay. These guys probably wouldn't be of interest, but you never know, my mother keeps up with trends and is quite sweetly into One Direction. (none of those boys have come out) (yet)

TOTAL: 34/60.  High scores on 12points.tv means more camp is needed. Better luck next time, boys.

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