12points.tv

Perrelli's return to the schlager spotlight yielded mixed results for her dedicated fans 

Third time lucky? Charlotte Perrelli is one of Sweden's most talked about pop stars. Launching herself onto the wider public by winning ESC 1999 for her country, her career since has been filled with poptastic highs and lots of sparkley outfits. A second attempt for Eurovision glory in 2008 led to another win in Sweden, but not such a brilliant placing at the ESC final. This year, a third song, "The Girl" tried to secure its place at Eurovision, but didn't even get past the semi-final heat in 2012. 

12points.tv were situated inside the arena in Malmö for her Melodifestivalen turn and sensed a problem was coming when the reaction of the audience during rehearsals was muted at best after her performance. How could this consumate professional who threw everything but the kitchen sink into this great performance not strike a chord with the Swedish public? The 12points jury does it's analysis below. Was the song girl-licious and girl-tastic or just girl-umpty?

Song/Lyrics - 12/12
Most Melodifestivalen songs that make it far don't get too personal in the lyrics. For example, this year had the classics: "you're amazing/amazing/you're oh oh oh amazing". But through our interview with Charlotte Perrelli, she told us that the lyrics were very personal to her. After some chaos in her own life and a particularly nasty divorce, she had her feet on the ground again and was happy to sing about it all. The music sounds as if it's an old ABBA record with a scratch in it, but managed to throw in musical enough tricks to keep it interesting. 

Performance - 12/12
We saw Charlotte rehearse and perform this song a total of 10 times over 3 days of rehearsals and she hit it 100% every time. No other act in rehearsals could manage such a feat, suffering with tired voices and shattered nerves. Watching Perrelli march back and forth over 3 minutes would be tiring for most people, but Charlotte does what a performer should do - be consistent. The use of the Beyoncé-esque video screens worked well but maybe were a little distraction.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 6/12
We think the staging and choreography are what ultimately kept the votes away for poor Charlotte. I am guessing in an attempt to make this song even more exciting than her other two entries is what derailed it. If you look carefully at the song, it has four different settings over 180 seconds - in front of a screen, on stage, back by the screen, on stage again. It was almost too much to take in. Combine so much movement with some typically frantic and meaningless choreography (a ballet/line dancing combo) and the effect of that could mean all the intricacies are nullified. Swedes DO tend to voite for something that is reasonably safe, and maybe this was just too scary for them.

Camp Factor - 12/12
Charlotte's costume cost 500.000 Swedish kronor (€56.000). Enough said.

Would My Mother Like it? - 8/12
I would imagine she'd like it. She appreciates good camp, like her son.

TOTAL: 50/60.  Well done, Charlotte. Better luck next time. 

Harket took on this big ballad for the opening of ESC1996 in Norway. 

Sigh. More than 25 years after he first appeared with his torn jeans and big hair, Morten Harket still has a deep effect over a lot of women, and yours truly. When Morten was the lead singer for a-Ha, Norway's biggest export since Neutrogena, I had posters of him and his band all over my room. My father looked in one day and said, "But Rick, don't you want some posters of girls?" I replied, "But Dad, you don't understand. It's a-Ha." It made coming out a few years later that much easier. Nevertheless, when ESC 1996 opened in Oslo, Morten was hosting and of course he had to sing something. So he appeared in all his glory with "Heaven's Not For Saints". Not an entry, but something that will for me always be tied to that particular contest.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: did we go for heaven, or hell?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
In the mid 1980s, Morten Harket could have sang an instruction manual for a blender and I would have loved every word. Ten years later, I was just a bit more discerning. The killer here is the chorus, it comes up very quickly and punches you in the gut. But the lyrics... what are they on about? It's like a bunch of random phrases glued together. 

Performance - 12/12
The thing about Morten Harket is he always made hitting those high notes seem so easy. He also has a very distinctive voice - if you heard it without knowing the song, you would know he was singing it. Plus, throw in some dry ice smoke and a hint of swagger, a few horns and you've got a winner. 

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 4/12
A ballad like this doesn't call for much. But just after the guitar break towards the end, check out Morten's kind of clumsy twirl and stumble. I suppose that counts as some kind of choreography.

Camp Factor - 6/12
This song's message is kind of sad, and with a hint of machismo throughout the whole performance, it loses a few points in this category. However there are a few camp flourishes. Witness the sudden reveal of the orchestra and this interesting look at the end of the song:

Would My Mother Like it? - 12/12
Abso-smurf-ly. Anything with a hot, somewhat feminine guy singing gets an automatic 12 points. My father wouldn't like it but his points don't count here.

TOTAL: 44/60.  Not bad, Morten. And I'm a sucker for a guy in a tuxedo.

This would have gotten more points if Lena didn't believe her own hype.

When the Eurovision Song Contest airs, I am always happy if two particular events occur - 1) something inherently modern and retro comes together at the same time in a song and 2) the performance is quirky, goofy and over the top. When Lena Meyer-Landrut appeared at ESC 2010 with her song "Satellite", this totally new face from our of nowhere managed to capture all of the voting countries' hearts and secure a victory with her modern/retro/goofy song. The 12points.tv staff went to see her perform at Stockholm Pride in 2010 and she was even better live. But her return appearance in 2011 was showing off a different kind of Lena - serious, moping and more moody. You can argue that the song lent itself to a more serious presentation, and no singer has to keep appearing as they formerly did. But with reports that she was unapproachable backstage at ESC 2011 (probably because her management kept it that way) - did she start to buy into her own hype and take herself too seriously? This is our theory, as demonstrated by this performance.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: were we taken by a stranger, or just kind of dropped of by the side of the road?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
That drum sound you hear at the beginning of the song is emulated probably from one of the first drum machines available in the 70's, and by keeping the instrumentation basic and bass-y, the song sets an interesting mood from the first seconds.  The lyrics are about being seduced by a stranger, but they are weird enough to be about anything. Maybe they are about a parrot.

Performance - 10/12
Lena is still quirky as ever with her mix of American and cockney pronouciation, stressing certain words that don't need stressing, and giving evil looks to the camera. But the adventure and fun from her 2010 performance is gone here. Although confident, it's lacking something for me - I think the whole thing is being taken way too seriously. 

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 8/12
Cool and collected, with silver suited women prancing around. Is this just to add to the mood or does it represent something? If I was smoking a joint right now I would probably find the meaning a bit quicker.

Camp Factor - 8/12
Well, everything works perfectly in this performance - the mood, the amazing lighting, the choreography, the visuals - but camp? Not really. To get points in this category, you need more colour and glitter. Sequins also help.

Would My Mother Like it? - 6/12
I think she would give it a 'meh'. She tends to go for the entries with tall, skinny guys of a questionable sexuality. In other words, gay.

TOTAL: 42/60.  Take a look back at Lena's first surprise entry. I was at a party when she appeared and we all agreed that this was an immediate winner.

Norwegians didn't choose this song to go to ESC2012. Shame on you all!

I have been covering Norway's Melodi Grand Prix this year and watching in horror as songs that could win many points for Norway get left behind by the public vote. Then again - my criteria for a successful Eurovision song is usually weighed in how over the top it is, and this could be something the Norwegians just find simply revolting. Like the Swedes, they may want something they feel most comfortable with. But this song, "Shapeshifter", happens to be excellent and very well thought out. It's a travesty that this won't make it to Baku... or will it? Norway picks three songs in each of their 3 semi-finals, but the song with the best fourth-place ranking will make it into the MGP Final. So there is a small chance it could compete again, but what a waste of a good song in the meantime.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: did we find the song had shape, or was relatively shapeless?

Song/Lyrics - 12/12
This melody owes a lot to artists like David Guetta and Usher, which is a good thing. About time some modern dance songs made their way into Eurovision, sung by an artist who really knows how to handle the genre. The lyrics are very goofy - they sound like they were written after Rikke read all the "Twilight" novels. This song has a lot of what Eurovision semi-final songs seem to lack this year - fun. 

Performance - 12/12
Great. Confident and happy and seamlessly performed. Rikke is the strongest singer I've seen so far in MGP. The fact that she can hit those high notes and flip right back into her chest voice, a la Whitney Houston, is a skill that is lacking in a lot of Eurovision singers today.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 10/12
Rikke's nerdy backing boys are hilarious and a-dork-able. This loses the top score because a few of them threaten to upstage her while she's singing. And also, the lyrics are more about wolves and primal desires and she has a bunch of nerds dancing with her. But I'm being picky. Watch the choreography carefully, especially what goes on in the background.  Very interesting.

Key Change Effectiveness - 0/12
A key change wasn't deemed necessary, but the song does well without it. Nul points though, according to the jury.

Camp Factor - 12/12
Totally OTT. And Rikke looks fantastic in what she is wearing.

TOTAL: 46/60.  Would have loved to have given this some more points, but the key change dragged it down. Let's hope this song still has a last minute chance in the final. If you like Rikke, check out this soul oddity from last year's Melodi Grand Prix.

Booty shaking, naked backing singers, lots of hair - here comes 2010's Jessy Matador.

If there is one word that rarely enters into conversation when speaking about the Eurovision Song Contest, it's the word "sexy". Here at 12points.tv we spend hours writing about and discussing all things Eurovision, but I can't remember us every saying to ourselves, "which song is the most sexy that you know of?"  This could be because most of 12points.tv staff speak Dutch and yours truly doesn't understand any Dutch except for the words "lekker" and "gouda", but nevertheless, let's start the sexy topic of discussion. First subject: Jessy Matador's song "Allez Ola Olé". This song brought some much needed warmth to Oslo when it appeared.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: were we more in favour of "ola" or "olé"?

Song/Lyrics - 12/12
Those in France who organize the Eurovision selection kept it internal that year, after spending most of the 2000s languishing at the bottom of ESC Final results. First time I heard this song, I thought that it was a rejected song from the Euro 2010 football championships. This gets the full 12 for being so different, catchy and unassuming, and as regular readers of this column know, I like something that pays a bit of attention to different, local sounds. You may think that Matador's Congolese sound is not local to France, however with African culture and music so ingrained in France's DNA after years of colonialism, it could be considered a part of what makes for French music.

Performance - 12/12
The performance is fast and joyous, and what always strikes me when watching this video is how insane the crowd at the stadium was at the start of the song. They knew they were going to get something good. Three important things to note here:
1. The shirtless backing singer/dancer.
2. The shirtless backing singer/dancer. and...
3. The shirtless backing singer/dancer. With tattoos. 

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 12/12
Simplicity is the key here, but when a number of people do the same movement at the same time (and if it's done well), it looks amazing. Additionally, how many Eurovision songs do you know with room for a dance break?  This one has one.  The foot stomping, arm-waving style they chose to use is very effective. On further investigation, the hip roll they use is something common in Congolese dancing, so there you go. Did we mention the shirtless backing singer/dancer does a backflip, without his shirt on?

Key Change Effectiveness - 0/12
Allez Ola No Way! An unfortunate deduction here.  

Camp Factor - 8/12
This song is fun, and everyone on stage knows it. So as far as unintentional camp goes, it's not got too much. However - butt slapping, winks to the camera, and the little cries of pleasure when the female vocalist sings her bit get a few points here. 

TOTAL: 44/60.  If only we had some extra points we could award for hot backing singers. Oh well.

And tonight's entry will be performed by two women wearing colorful vintage lingerie.

I can see the brainstorming session that the producer of CatCat had when deciding how to best present "Bye Bye Baby" in Dublin in 1994. "Let's see - I picture underwear... vintage bejewelled underwear. Rappers! No, not rappers... dancers who look like rappers, wearing matching outfits!  Yes that's it- big hair, lingerie, VINTAGE lingerie, hip hop dancers, I picture a giant tiger coming out on stage and attacking the audience at the end... what, we can't use that?"  Bye Bye Baby is one of those songs where, if you close your eyes, it sounds great, but if you open your eyes, it's like witnessing a car crash involving lingerie.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: hello douze points or bye bye first place?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
Actually, not quite sure what genre this is, kind of dancey pop, kind of disco, kind of Finnish Eurovision entry... it's strage but 17 years later it still holds up pretty well. I can see hundreds of Finnish drag queens (if they even have hundreds in Finland) performing this song with passion and desire. The lyrics are a bit lost on me, but the song sounds appropriately angry considering the title.

Performance - 10/12
Misguided but solidly professional. Sisters Virpi and Katja sing the hell out of this song and appear well-rehearsed as they generally tower over the backing dancers. I still can't figure out exactly what those guys are doing there, were they part of the next act and came on one song too early? As CatCat don't really dancedance, I guess they are there to fill the giant stage, but why only two dancers when you could have had 6 in total on stage?  It doesn't really matter what the staging or performance was like - the choice of costumes all around outweigh everything else.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 12/12
Absolutely perfect arm-orgraphy with pointing and reaching and clawing at the air to show anguish. Someone studied classic Eurovision moves before this came on stage. The two backing dancers introduced hip hop to Eurovision, I don't believe any other act before them included this kind of choreography.  Don't forget, this was the ESC that brought us Riverdance for the first time, so we're not talking forward-thinking here.  An inspired bit of choreography comes at the beginning of the song - CatCat have their backs to the audience, but when they are ready to sing, swing around and march forward with intent. These girls mean business.

Key Change Effectiveness - 6/12
The kind of key change is not one of my favourites - when the song just kind of pauses and then the key goes up half a step.  It's appropriate enough but 6 points is all I could muster in this category.  

Camp Factor - 12/12
This gets the full 12 points, no question. The entire 3 minutes are taken seriously and with purpose, but I'm sorry, those costumes, that hair... even for 1994, it was too much.  But these girls deserve credit, they did what they wanted and I remember this song enough to write about it somewhat lovingly here.

TOTAL: 50/60.  The rare song in this column to reach 50 points, CatCat will stay in my mind like a Finnish karelian pasty stays in my stomach hours after eating them. For more CatCat, see our 12Points.tv article here, with a video of their latest single.

All Kinds of Everything reminds me of a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song.

Sailboats and fishermen, things of the sea... no offense but when I think of fishermen and things of the sea, I think "roll up the car window, the air stinks". Nevertheless, 18 year old unknown Dana won for Ireland in 1970 - making Ireland's success that year the first of seven times they would win the following years. There's no denying the lovely sentiment in this song, a bit different from the 2011 entry. Since both Jedward and Dana have been in the Eurovision news lately, I thought it would be appropriate to revisit this song and see if it still holds up.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: did it remind us of douze points all around?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
The sentiments of the song really fit into the hippy dippy popular music of the era - everything flowery and rainbows and la la la. So it was a given that it would probably be of interest to all the voting juries. The lyrics really capture something fun and pleasant, and doesn't everyone have times when they compare their new found love to beautiful things? Even a cynic like me can't help but melt the ice around my heart when listening to a song like this.

Performance - 12/12
Amazingly composed and confident for someone so young. It's rare that someone is sitting down for the entirety of their Eurovision entry, unless they are at a piano, but this time it works very well. I bet Dana broke a few million hearts when she appeared on TV for the first time across Europe.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 8/12
Considering Dana doesn't have much room to move, there are some dramatic Eurovision arm-ography moves included - arms up, and arms down - plus a combined clutching-your-heart and hands-in-prayer move. Classic!

Key Change Effectiveness - 8/12
Love when this happens - the key goes up when one long note is held.

Camp Factor - 6/12
Dana doesn't have much by way of camp going on, she probably had no idea what the concept of camp was in 1970. However, the broadcast around her yields some real gems. Close up on Dana while a mysterious Eurovision 1970 artwork appears behinds her, two malnourished pine trees placed to the left and right of her as part of the set, and my favourite bit comes at 2.36, when a far shot reveals a panicked cameraman pulling his rig back quickly, and a bunch of people walking around by the orchestra. What was going on during the contest that people weren't in their seats?  Strange.

TOTAL: 44/60.  If you liked this, check out where the song was most influenced by with this video below:

I can? More like "I can't" as Britain tries again for Eurovision glory.

What can be said about the UK's entries of the past few years?  Three songs since their last win in 1997 hitting last place during the final, a number coming towards the bottom, and a few coming in the top five, the results for this country have been random at best.  With some of the best bands in the world, none can be convinced to compete, until the BBC did an internal selection this year and took old pros Blue on board to represent the country. Quite an inspired idea, in theory - take someone who has been popular in a lot of places and see if that can attract some votes.

Here's the result of the 12points jury: did the four lads make us go all gooey inside, or leave us cold?

Song/Lyrics - 6/12
The best thing you can say about this song is that it was one of the rare tunes this year to actually follow current trends - no schlager for these guys.  The song is catchy but not quite something you dance to.

Performance - 4/12
Actual singing seems to be an ongoing problem for British performers. The recording of this song sounds great, but with a load of very high notes evading singer Lee Ryan's range, it drowns the song completely. Even before the first chorus, it seems like he's told himself that he won't be able to hit the right notes, and then by the end of the song, he's screaming out a load of melody that sounds like a cat being strangled.  And how could four guys singing together sound so empty?  The half-hearted explosion effect at the end of the song pretty much sums up the whole enterprise.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 6/12
There is a lot of very carefully choreographed arm-ography available for the viewing public. But when an act like Blue takes itself so seriously, it seems kind of pointless. Arm-ography is supposed to be about reaching in the sky, flying high, wave goodbye, that sort of nonsense.  Here it just doesn't work.

Key Change Effectiveness - 0/12
None to be heard. 

Camp Factor - 4/12
Not really too much to speak of, except for giant screens behind the group make them seem very small in that huge stadium. But I'm sure that was unintentional.
 

TOTAL: 20/60.  Hope was very high for this song before the contest, but frankly they probably only got 11th place because of the name recognition. Blue were huge across Europe a few years ago, but as for staging a comeback with this song, they should have tried harder.

We fall into the magical world of Melodifestivalen with this amazingly camp gem.

All you diehard Eurovision fans know the terrible feeling you get when a song you loved in the semi-final ends up never making it to the final? Even worse, 909809721385 other Eurovision websites also predicted that this particular song would go all the way. That is how I felt about today's almost-prize winning Swedish song, "The Queen". Velvet had competed in Melodifestivalen once before with the song "Mi Amore", but this one was a vast improvement. Of course, Swedish voting patterns are totally unpredictable and this never made out of its particular Melodifestivalen heat. Tragic!!!  But let's analyze this song a bit more - did anything go wrong, or did the country suffer a giant brain hemmorage when they sent a sappy ballad by a blonde 17 year old instead? (which, incidentally, never got past the ESC semi)

Here's the result of the 12points jury: will the queens who run this website give this a thumbs up or thumbs down?

Song/Lyrics - 10/12
All I will say is this: any song that starts with "People take a bow" gets a lot of points automatically. 

Performance - 10/12
Now, was that strange note at the end of the first verse intentional?  Kind of. When you listen to the recorded version, it was some kind of odd vocal effect thrown in, that must have not worked on the night. Never mind - Velvet exudes confidence and adds something that is sometimes missing in Melodifestivalen - subtlety. Yes, she starts in a giant dress that opens up and 6 dancing men in masks revolve around her, but none of this is forced. It's actually fun, rather than calculated. Someone had a lot of fun thinking this up.

Choreography (including Arm-ography and Hair-ography) - 10/12
Walking and posing does not make for choreopgraphy but Velvet's backing dancers are excellent, almost Madonna-Vogue era excellent. 

Key Change Effectiveness - 0/12
This song has everything BUT a key change. Shame.

Camp Factor - 12/12
Where the TV show GLEE sent a million high school kids to try out for school musicals and choirs, this song probably sent a million queens around Sweden to be even more queeny.  
 

TOTAL: 42/60.  So why didn't this go through to even the Melodifestivalen final? Comments below please, we'd love to know your thoughts.