Looking at those options, of COURSE he wanted to watch with me. His salty commentary actually livened up the evening, some of his comments are reflected below.
So let's get started:
0.01 Good evening Europe!
0.02 The voting rules are sexy and cool, apparently. It's 2 minutes in and Johan has leaned back on the couch in exhaustion. It's going to be a long night for him.
0.04 The bottom left of my screen is taken up by a Portuguese (presumably) gay fan, wearing a G-Star T-shirt. He will be very distracting if he keeps appearing.
0.05. B&H - bring it on! Johan is laughing already at the first 3 seconds of the song.
0.08 A nice start - pleasant enough song that has everything and the kitchen sink - an older man, a girl not playing piano but pretending to, a hippie, a woman with a tambourine upstaging everyone else... all that's missing is an ice skater. But the night is young.
0.09 Austria - Nadine looks kind of Liza Minnelli-severe.
0.10 The song is very musical theatre - I half-expect the disco beat to come in but unfortunately it's going to be more like a Celine Dion B-side.
0.11 Nice that so far, everyone is on key... this song is a real winner I think - at least for tonight. I predict this will go through.
0.13 3JS make their appearance and it unsettles Johan: "Who the fuck did his hair" is all he can say abou this song.
0.15 Finally, appropriate Eurovision arm choreography makes its' appearance! The 3 backing singers punching the air over and over - good to see that traditional move. No one as yet has flapped their arms when singing either about a bird or an angel
0.16 Johan and I both agree the NL song sounds like mid-90s indie - melodic but a bit bland.
0.18 A rare accapella song from Belgium. Who knew Belgians were so funky. But are the French more funky than the Flemish? One may never know.
0.19 Johan is giggling at the beatboxing but I like this better than I thought. I expected another O Julissi.
0.21 Ah the first set of twins tonight. I wonder if these two had any kind of connection with Jedward.
0.22 We both think they used up all the fake tan in Dusseldorf. And Alicia Keys' lawyers should contact Slovakian state TV - they have grounds for a lawsuit.
0.23 Johan: I'm afraid it's back to porn for these girls.
0.26 Ukraine. I wonder if this song was worth all the controversy surrounding the local selection process.
0.27 Forgot about the sand woman - but it's more interesting than the song. I love the fact she can make sand pictures and sing along at the same time.
0.29 It took 6 songs... but finally the wind machine is brought out. Cheap thrills.
0.31 Johan actually knows who the Moldovan entry is... maybe he is mocking me, pretending to be indifferent about Eurovision but actually having studied all the facts that most Eurovision fans know. Hmm..
0.33 I really miss the grandma on the drum. The big hats and girl on a unicycle don't quite make up for her loss. Not a bad song.
0.35 I only have one thing to say about Sweden's entry. Sanna Nielsen was robbed.
0.38 Well, thank Christ for backing singers and gimmicks. Next!
0.39 Cyprus. Quite a contrast to Sweden. Love the girl twirling around a huge globe.
0.42 Shame, I don't think Cyprus has had a good song in years. It was just kind of weird. And their woman singer looked like she had rats woven into her hair.
0.44 Bulgaria up now. Aside from the kind of weird outfits everyone is wearing - it's not bad. It's like a P!nk song, but in Bulgarian. Shame one of the lyrics sounds like "I fuck men".
0.47 Nice that we're on the 10th entry and so far everyone has been on key. Johan has no comment, he can only sigh when asked what he thought.
0.49 Musica! Musika!!!! Macedonians always send the most bizarre things to Eurovision. But at least they are singing in their own language and the melody reflects some sense of where they are from.
0.52 I am happy to see the return of Dana though not sure I rate this song as much as her previous entry. Let's see.
0.55 Not bad - and I think that incredible dress would be something I would wear if I was a transsexual. I have the hips for it already.
0.56 Slovenia - shockingly the first Cristina Aguilera-type song in the competition. I always expect about 7 or 8 of them. Unfortunate outfits on the backing singers.
0.58 Was this really the best song that Slovenia could send? Strange. Competent but boring all at once.
1.02 Not sure what genre the Romanian entry is. Is it pop, rock, early Elton John, late Take That, kind of Beatles-esque? Will be surprised if this goes through. The longest 3 minutes so far this evening.
1.05 Good, Estonia is next. I need a song to break my slight boredom.
1.07 Really interesting. I wouldn't say it has too much Europe-related content... but who cares. It stands out much more than most songs tonight.
1.09 Shame Belarus has to follow from Estonia - it's like a lead balloon just landed on stage. Johan does a brilliant impression of Anastasiya's bizarre voice.
1.12 Well, you're not going to forget that chorus anytime soon.
1.15 The Latvian entry won't have a life outside of this semi-final. But stranger things have happened. You could sing "Angel in disguise" to the chorus of "I love Belarus", I'll give it that much.
1.17 Man, after Estonia every song seems like a disappointment. I want to like Denmark but... well at least they get a few points for good use of hair gel.
1.24 What can one say about Ireland except I hope that bailout money didn't pay for those ridiculous costumes.
1.33 Here are my predictions:
Yes Austria, Belgium, Moldova, Sweden, Bulgaria, Estonia
Maybe: B&H, Ukraine, Macedonia, Israel, Belarus, Denmark
No: Netherlands, Slovakia, Cyprus, Slovenia, Romania, Latvia, Ireland
Let's see how well I do - I got 4 out of 6 correct in the YES category for SF1
1.54 OK, and now for the voting:
1. Estonia. OK, that was a given.
2. Romania. Both Johan and I said: WHAT?!
3. Moldova. Good choice.
4. Ireland. **holds head in hands**
5. B&H.
6. Denmark. A lot of Swedish texts I guess.
7. Austria. Happy about this one.
8. Ukraine. One of the backing singers was totally exasperated...
9. Slovenia. Wow, unexpected.
10. Sweden. A given.
2.00 And now I ask Johan how he survived these last two hours. He strokes his beer, takes a sip of water, and rolls his eyes. He loved it, secretly, I'm sure.
OK, onwards and upwards to the final.
