We all get it around this time of year. PED - also known as "Post-Eurovision Depression". Here's some tips on how to feel better.
"1" | "Get a new hairdo"
Or a "hair-don't" if you don't like dreadlocks. Rona Nishliu of Albania took 9 years go grow hers. Compliment your new dreads with a dress that is totally out of this world.
"2" | "Be a fan"
"3" | "Speak more nonsense"
Anytime someone asks you a question, answer it with wither "Ding Dinge Dong", "Boum Bada Boum" or "La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la." Or try "Hoo, hah, Dschinghis Khan."
"4" | "Kiss an Azerbaijani flag"
Why not, everyone performing in the interval act had no problem with that in what should be an apolitical contest.
"5" | "Stand out in the street and perform jiu-jitsu"
We think that this is what Loreen used to win. If you are in Greece, maybe you can stand in a square and sing "EU-phoooooobia" instead.
"6" | "Make your face freeze"
A few injections of botox can help with this. Watch a few Eurovision divas from 2012 to get some tips about the best frozen looks.
"7" | "Buy a live turkey"
In a year, you will have enough feathers ready to make a headdress like Joan Franka.
"8" | "Speak English in a heavy accent"
Ideas to use: "Sank you for a luffley eve-en-ing", "We send you good wishes from (random capital city)", "Can we has your votings please?".
"9" | "Support an Azeri human rights group"
Take a read at the great work that etiraz.com is producing. It will help with P.E.D. by keeping your eyes open to what Eurovision has left behind.
"10" | "Send a card to poor Tooji"
He has taken his last place in the final in good spirit, but let him know you are still thinking about him. Be sure to include the message "Come on, work that body baby... you better work."
"11" | "Organize a Eurovision afterparty"
Help your other friends with P.E.D. by having them over again on Saturday to dissect important issues like the bouquet in Gaitana's hair, which Russian granny could be considered sexy, and if you were born in distant 1980.
"12" | "Call an Armenian"
If you don't know any, call the local embassy and tell them they are welcome back to Eurovision.